First Draft Syndrome

I am back to one of my better old habits. I would, many times, find myself opening up a Word file and just start typing.
And this time is no different, except of course in its content and message!

I want to say now, that self-expression is one of, if not THE most important things a human being can do. One of the most important things a person can do.

But I suffer from a problem that every person really does suffer from. But thankfully, as a friend of mine just pointed out, I AM aware of the fact that I suffer from it. And that should provide me with a path to fix it, or into a new area of the universe.

The problem is something for which I may or may not have just coined the term: -- “First Draft Syndrome”.
Given the fact that I wrote so many damn first drafts (and seconds and thirds, and maybe even bits of fourths!) back in my Uni days, it is really not that unusual a thing for me to realise.

“First Draft Syndrome” is the situation by which one thinks about something - ANYTHING - and assumes automatically that what is coming out of their mouth, direct from whatever creative/dark/suicidal/remorseful/whateverthefuck recesses of their mind is “pure gold” -- and here I quote myself from 2005.

Self expression appears, at this point, to be something of a venting;….. Or what is it? I write this sentence and this paragraph, and I still feel inside of me that something is not right with what I just wrote. But hey - it’s 1am and I am buggered. This may actually be a big part of my problem…. However I don’t think EVERY damn thing I ever wrote was written in the wee hours of the morning.

Anyway, I am losing the thought thread right now, and I WILL attribute that to the time right now.

Let me just say this: If you are still reading this blog post up to THIS point, then you have just experienced a classic, pure gold example of First Draft syndrome. And what is the moral to this little story?
Should dear Tom, for sake of shame over not being able to express himself, yet again, clam up and stop expressing himself altogether??
Or should dear Tom do what he always strives to do and FIX the damn situation??

Well, the answer to this problem is in the name of it: FIRST Draft Syndrome.
I shall write more Second Drafts. I shall edit myself as best I can. And when I say “edit”, I do NOT mean the sort of self-editing one might have to employ if one worked for the national news agency of China, Iran, or one of the unfree countries of the world. I mean editing for ease of translation. A lot IS lost in translation - translation from my brainwaves to speech and writing, and then translation back into your brain through your ears or eyes.
A somewhat famous playwright once said that “words are not a good communicator” - and that line stuck with me long after I finished reading and studying Rosencratnz And Guildenstern Are Dead.
And a clever politician and world leader once quipped that Democracy was the worst system of governance we have, except for all the others (that was Churchill, for those not keeping up on the quotes).

I believe that in their true essence of existence, words and democracy are the same - they are not good forms of doing vital things, but they are all we have and they can do the job if they are used properly - not cunningly or sneakily, but used to their fullest potential. And both of them are things that separate us from our animal forebears and cousins.

And I see it happening here again!
I have found that indirectness is often, with an intelligent audience, the best form to communicate a simple and/or profound idea. So maybe the First Draft~ness of this post is indirect enough in its nature that you have just picked yourself up off the floor, having been blown backwards by sheer awesomeness of what you just read.
Or maybe you’re still sitting there.

I doubt you were blown off your chair….
But I will not be editing this post. After all, a blog is a blog - my web log, and my own little domain through which I can express myself, and other people may or may not see it. Knowing that someone, somewhere, will see it makes all the difference from scribbling into a diray and stowing it away in a cupboard for a hundred years after.

There are many things I’ve written in the past, quite long and long-winded.
I have spotted the problem, and you were right, my friend. (you know who you are).

I will fix this problem, just like I fix every other damn one I know about.

And the first step is sleep!

And the next is to begin editing some stuff I wrote many ages ago. Should my waking life allow me the time, or indeed, should I manufacture the time by my own hand and power in my waking life, you may even see some of it here on this blog.

So I’ll leave you with that.