I am currently enduring the most depressing winter of my life, as not only is it freezing but no snow, it is raining non-stop but no tin-roof, I am alone everyday, I lose friends faster than I make them, and my daily work has become a series of spreadsheets and grid-tables with endless numbers and numbers.
I am learning what kind of person I am, and it appears that I am someone who wants to be honest, but lacks the credibility to pull it off, wants to be professional, but lacks the self-discipline to be taken seriously; wants to be creative, but lacks the structure to do anything useful, and wants to be adventurous and open-minded, but lacks the entrepreneurial spirit to make any lasting effect on anything.
For the first time in my life, I am in completely new, uncharted territory. I've moved beyond the red line, outside the border of what I know. I have no guiding hope set at an (undetermined) point in my future, and hence I have no particular aim to keep me on any particular track.
As I wander into this new aimlessness, I choose not to forget that this whole new situation also means that I have nothing tying me down, in the past, the present, nor the future.
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